Occupy Hostess

Pretend it’s not money. Pretend it’s all Twinkies – THAT’S what’s wrong with our economy. Everyone is paid for their hard work in Twinkies. But what’s happened is some people, who started out by working hard, have amassed millions upon millions of Twinkies, more Twinkies than any human could ever eat in a dozen lifetimes. What’s more, they make these grand Twinkie fortunes by bargaining and trading with other Twinkillionaires who cut jobs and outsource and tank the entire middle-class Twink-force, just so they can build these massive Twinkie piles.

So you’re left with 1% of all the people in an otherwise civilized, developed country with more goddamn Twinkies than everyone else combined. Enormous mountains of f**king Twinkies that could feed the Twinkless, or be spent on putting hardworking folk into jobs so they can have some Twinkies of their own.

But god forbid they share some of those Twinkies that they’d never touch anyway – that they couldn’t possibly be hungry enough to ever need to eat – in order to help make our world a little happier for everyone. THAT’S what’s going on. A bunch of fat, Twinkie-hoarding bastards have taken all the Twinkies for themselves, leaving millions without so much as a nibble.

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